My Year of Van Life: The Raw Truths, Challenges, and Joys

It's been 365 days since I've called a van my home and got to experience firsthand what van life is all about. When thinking of the pros and cons of van life so far, my brain is flooded with a whole bunch of things for both sides, varying from simple to deeply complex.

I could give you a Pros and Cons list that chatGPT wrote for me that would be more simple, direct, and to the point (I'm on a huge chatGPT kick right now) ... but that's not really how things work over here.

Instead, I decided to give you the unfiltered, stream of consciousness kind of version of what really pops up when I think of what I would add to a pros and cons list.... Welcome to my brain... :)

CON: Not having a(n):

• Oven (place to make pizza)

• Bath Tub

• Proper Shower

• Drain for my toilet that takes care of the whole disposal thing…. :)
  

PRO: Not having a(n):

• Ton of Extra Stuff I Don’t Need

• Bunch of Rooms to Keep Clean

• Rent, Mortgage, or Utilities Bills
  

PRO: I’m glad I took the chance on an unconventional life for myself in my 30s and didn’t let societal timelines or expectations become more important than what my soul was calling for, something that fit for both my minimalist backpacking solo wanderer parts and the parts of me that are ready to build a home and roots for myself. Although it doesn't align with where I thought I'd be at 34, in other ways, it makes the most sense that this is where my life has taken me.

CON: The roots don’t come with a parking spot year-round, so having "figure out where to sleep tonight" on your to-do list indefinitely becomes a lot sometimes.

CON: The schlepping of the things, to and fro, every single building day. ESPECIALLY after this day last year. Before I could even start doing what I wanted to in the van, I would have to continuously empty out the van, gather together everything I needed (sometimes from different places across town), then later on, put everything back somewhere so I could clean up enough where I didn’t feel it was disgusting to move my bed back in at night. I did this every day for weeks on end, often working on building something for 6-16 hours in between.

CON: The van build became all-encompassing and outlandishly time-consuming, and van life, even when no building is involved, feels similar at times. At least for me, when something is wrong in the van, it takes up a large space at the front of my brain, probably because it’s been made clear now that when something is wrong, my only option is to solve it myself, and I will.

PRO: LOVE THAT confidence and assurance in myself.

CON: And, it can feel very heavy and overwhelming at times to know that no one knows Flo like I do, and the best bet of the problem being fixed as soon as possible is if I prioritize it immediately and buckle down until I learn how to fix it, all by myself, with whatever resources I have available to me.

PRO: But when I accomplish something under those parameters, I feel like a badass after, I will not lie, and I love that feeling.

PRO: The time I get back not having to plan out everything I might need when I leave my house to make sure I'm prepared with all the necessary things for whatever outing I'm about to go on.

PRO: Not feeling anxious after I leave the house when I realize I forgot something, or feeling uncomfortable because I forgot something (like being really thirsty and I didn't bring water).

PRO: The general experience of coming and going is less stressful and taxing, which means less time that I feel shitty about myself for taking forever to get out the door and being forgetful AF.

And, at the same time...

CON: It can be incredibly stressful at times, because every time I am coming from or going to the van and I am in a public place, I am putting some risk on myself that there may happen to be someone in the parking lot at that time who is seeing me and a person who wishes to do me harm.

CON: Which does make it difficult to find my community because whenever I am around people, I do my best to avoid being seen, especially when I am in no cell service areas, and don’t go out of my way to meet people and advertise that I am alone in my van.

PRO: I get to run off to no cell service areas… and call them home for a period of time. This is my definition of my dreamiest of dreams. While I do love the disconnect, it’s not so much about the area not having cell service, but it’s just an indicator to how remote it is… and for me, the more remote the better. I’ve been able to stay at some absolutely beautiful spots. Being able to spend the year (well, part of the year when I wasn’t still building round the clock) waking up in these beautiful places has been so good for my soul.

PRO: Without saying yes to this chapter, I probably never would have been able to cross “cross-country road trip” off the bucket list my teenage self wrote, especially not in such epic fashion.

PRO: From the minute I decided I was all in on this project and still 506 days later, it keeps challenging me both:

A) Physically because MY GOODNESS, I often thought that my boxing training was actually training me to have the strength to do the shit I had to do because otherwise I truly don’t know if I would have gotten past certain stages (taking down the cabinets and not only putting them back up, ensuring they are even and level, all by myself, what feels like a bajillion times)

B) Mentally because it’s given me opportunity after opportunity to confront a challenge head on, forcing me to also confront a lot of limiting beliefs, changing the story my brain was feeding me about what I am capable of.

I could probably go on and on with more pros and cons, let me know in the comments if you want a part two!

By the way, if you've made it this far, I feel the need to remind you that some of your limits you place on yourself are not truly the bounds of what you're capable of. You can do hard things too. I believe in you. :)